May the words of my mouth and may the meditation of all our hearts be acceptable to you, O God our Rock and our Redeemer. Amen.
Good morning! It is good to be back here, as always, as you prepare for your interim minister, Rev Chapman, to begin next week. This is a really exciting time in the life of the community but it can also come with some of its own challenges and all need to be held in care. Now, in the last verse of today’s Gospel reading, it begins with these words. For where two or three are gathered together. Now, in your mind, did you finish that sentence as I think I have always done? I would say when two or three are gathered together, God will grant their requests. So, of course, this verse comes up in a context of prayer or perhaps when we are worried that our participation numbers are too low, so we say, “remember when two or three are gathered together…”
But then I read the whole verse again, and I realized that it actually ends differently The verse actually says, when two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.
So then I thought, oh, I must have been thinking about a different passage. So, as I needed to do last time when I was here with you, I googled to find out where the more familiar ending came from and guess what came up? “The most commonly misused verses in the Bible.” And apparently Matthew 18:20 is one of those verses.
So if this verse was actually written for a very different purpose the I guess we should go back to the beginning of the Gospel reading for the actual context of when we need to know that when two are three are gathered together in Jesus’ name, Jesus will be there among them. So, it seems this passage is not even about prayer or church attendance but about conflict. And I fully admit that I would much rather talk about prayer than conflict. As I am not a big fan of conflict.. It can feel scary and we can feel alone in the struggle. However, to avoid or to ignore isn’t always possible. As in doing so, a price is often paid.
And the conflict becomes such that something needs to be done – for our own sake, for the sake of another, or even for the sake of the community. And in this passage, the conflict takes place inside the church. And it's not really conflict per se, but direct harm from one member of the community to another. I am using harm rather than the passage’s use of sin, as the word itself has often been used in not-so-helpful and misinterpreted ways.
In the way that it was written, we are to imagine ourselves into this story, it is you who has been harmed by another member of the community. There was no specific offence given but it is enough that it has caused hurt to you and harm has been done to the relationship – emotionally and spiritually, if not also physically. So the harm is such that continuing down this path has implications beyond the harmer and the recipient of the harm for the health of the community. It feels a little tricky speaking this because we may have our own memories of such experiences and how they were resolved or not resolved. And this is not an opportunity to turn Northwood inside out but an invitation to see where the Spirit is leading us.
So, as I went through the passage it seemed like this was, in one sense, a helpful step-by-step guide to dealing with interpersonal experiences of harm within the church. And the first invitation is to go to the person who has harmed you and speak to the person when the two of you are alone. This is an opportunity to speak directly with our brother or sister in Christ. Face to face and heart to heart. And this might be all that is needed, as Matthew writes, “if the member listens to you, you have regained that one.” You have regained a friend, possibly. But also regained the sheep that had wandered astray from the flock.
And I don’t think a restored friendship is necessary, or maybe even possible, for there to be peace amongst you once again. To be able to offer peace to one another again, is community restored.
But what if restoration does not happen? There is an invitation to continue the work, and it seems for the sake of both the one who has been harmed and also for the one who has harmed. “If you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses.” Are you starting to feel a little eek-ish? My initial picture of this situation shows now two or three gathered to gang up on the one who has offended. And as I talked to my friend about this passage yesterday, she said: “ah yes, judge and jury.” But the passage says two or three witnesses, not back-up bullies or deciders of the fate of that now-relationship-divided.
Witnesses are active participants in this encounter, yes, but they don’t get to choose sides. They are there, on behalf of the community and for the sake of the community, to protect each side from misrepresentation, from slander, from further causes of hurt and/or harm. Both sides are protected, and both sides are being held accountable to the act of possible reconciliation. And this might not seem fair – but there can not be encouragement to use blame as a catalyst for further harm or harm reciprocated.
Both sides need to know that they are held in care. And so within a witnessed and safely held container of conversation, there is possibility that Shalom can dwell within the community and truth can be spoken and heard.
Now I hope that we don’t actually even need to imagine beyond this point, for Shalom has once again been restored. But experience has taught us that the work of restoration and reconciliation is not easy and it is not done overnight. And sometimes, yes, sometimes, there needs to be serious implications for the refusal to stop the work of active harm towards another or towards a community. Witnessing does not judge, but sometimes hard decisions need to be made. And it seems that it unfortunately might be more common than we think, as we like to think of the church as immune to such things, whereas often the issue isn’t immunity; it is denial.
And I think that is why it was also helpful to have the reading from Ezekiel –we have a responsibility in our actions but also in our own inaction to bring an end to the harm or to call out that which needs to be addressed for the sake of the opportunity for restoration. For if we allow the harm to continue, we in fact have become harm-ers. And this often needs the support of the whole church.
When speaking privately or speaking with witnesses brings no resolution, this might need to be brought to the church as a conversation for the church community as a whole. And the hope would be that, within that, again, witnessed container of safety, there could be resolution. But if not, then Mathew writes, “ let such a one be to you as a Gentile or a tax collector.” Now those might seem like just words now but that would have been almost shocking when this was written. From one perspective, the offender is not only to be expelled from the community but also from the faith tradition as a whole and to be treated in a lower form. As we remember, tax collectors were considered the lowest of the low. So, was this written because the audience was mainly Jewish Christians who still had very clear boundaries between Jews or Gentiles? And was it because there was a clear distinction between who belonged and who was an outcast in society? I think our natural inclination would be to guess that. It makes sense that the one who harmed is now to be hated, outcast, and considered unworthy.
Or! Is this now-expelled member to be treated with the same compassion that Jesus showed toward Gentiles and Tax Payers, both in need of the Gospel, both lost sheep who have strayed away and needed a Shepherd to help them find their way home? They may need to leave the community, yes, but they are not condemned.
And it seems that Mathew, the Gospel writer, is more concerned with action against the harm, rather than with the condemnation of the one who has harmed. Commentators say that is very evident by the specific placement of this passage after what to do when we sin passage, and the parable of the lost sheep passage. And then after this passage there is a passage on forgiveness, and then a parable of the unforgiving servant.
So, there is concern for both the one who is seeking to call out the offence and to speak of the harm done to them and the one who has harmed. If we become arrogant or bitter or seek harm in our correction, then we too now stand on the side of the harm-er.
And so when we have found ways to reach forgiveness and reconciliation, or a binding together, here on earth, it will bound up in the coming of the Kingdom. And whatever we need to release here on Earth, it too will be released in the coming of the Kingdom. For it is not ours to carry the responsibility of another’s harm – especially not in anger, or in resentment, or in pain. And that is actually a new way to see what the act of the passing of the peace and the act of the Eucharist is about – to offer peace as something lighter to carry, and to lay down that which has been invited to be left at the table.
And so we come to the end of the passage. To that verse that had such a different meaning than when we started. Prayer very much needs to be an active part of this encounter. But if the context is when two or three are gathered together as witnesses to the possibility of restoration – then the understanding of God being there among them can take on new meaning as well. The Spirit is now the witness to the witnesses and to those in need of witnesses. All are being seen, heard, and held. The Spirit also becomes the protector between the one who harmed and the one who was harmed so that each can speak and share with the possibility of restoration – because they are not putting their pain on the other but into the Spirit’s outstretched arms. And the Spirit can now be the bond that brings them together in a new way. There is now Spirit-enacted capacity to offer words and intentions of wholeness, and however the encounter unfolds into its completion, the presence of love dwells in the midst
So, to return to the most oft misused verse – yes, if we ask, our request may be granted. But how much more is it to know that God will be among us. And in God being among us, our requests may very well even change.
So my friends, I pray that you will have courage when those tough conversations come. I pray that you will be witnessed - seen, heard, and held. And I pray that you will offer yourself as witnesses, for in you and through You, God’s presence will be among.
Amen.